Tango Etiquette

We hope these hints will help you and your partner to enjoy dancing Tango. They are based on commonly accepted Tango conventions and our own experience.

If you are not dancing, please avoid standing or talking where you will inhibit the flow of the dancers. Don’t move chairs where they will be in the way. Do not walk across the dance floor – walk around the edge, waiting for space if necessary for dancers move out of the way.

Moving around the Dance Floor

Couples dance around the floor in an anti-clockwise direction. This is called the “line of dance”. Sometimes, where there is room and there are many people dancing, there will be two lines – like lanes on a dual carriageway. Moving onto the dance floor is like merging onto a dual carriageway - wait for an open space rather than forcing your way into the line of dancers.

tango dancing petersfield hampshire Once dancing it is important to stay in lane unless you have good reason to change – for example if you need to overtake a very slow couple. Avoid dancing in the middle of the floor.

Generally it is better to stay in the outside line if you can. We suggest leaders dance at an outward facing angle – almost diagonal – to the line of dance. This improves your visibility and helps you avoid drifting inwards.

On a crowded floor respect the space of the couple in front – it is very unpleasant being crowded from behind. Don’t, however, allow a big gap to open up in front of you. If the couple in front of you stops, either dance around them or use something like a cut/rocking step or weight changing on the spot to continue dancing until they move.

Leaders should avoid taking backward steps, especially at the start of the dance. It is incredible how often people are still taught the basic eight sequence of starting with a backward step. If you haven’t looked then there is a strong risk of treading on someone.

Avoid steps and movements on a crowded floor that could cause collisions, kick or injure other dancers - fast moves, Boleos, Ganchos, leg extensions etc. Leaders, be aware of the dancers around you and use only the space that is safely available. Followers, it is also your responsibility to execute moves in a responsible manner.

Leaders - it’s your fault not hers if your partner backs into someone. Followers, respect what the leader invites and suggests. Leaders will avoid dancing with a partner who only does her own thing irrespective of what is led.

Finally, if you do bump into another couple, politely apologise whilst continuing to dance – even if you do not think it was your fault!

Creating an Enjoyable Experience

Tango requires your full attention, so don’t try to have a conversation while dancing; focus on the music, your partner, your dance and the floor traffic. Keep talking to an absolute minimum. It is not polite to teach or stop to practise a step on the dance floor at a Milonga. Leave the floor and practise elsewhere.

The Milonga is for social dancing and should be kept as such. Classes and Prácticas are the places to work on technique.

Never make personal comments or criticise your partner whilst dancing. Even well intentioned feedback is not for the Milonga – save it for the Práctica, or get advice from a teacher who can assess the situation more accurately.

Of course, if your partner is doing something uncomfortable, dangerous or inappropriate, it is OK to ask them politely to stop.

Asking for a Dance – and Being Asked

Generally speaking it is usual to accept invitations to dance – after all, that’s why we’re there - but it is not obligatory. We do not have an automatic right to dance with anybody we choose, so give some thought to who you ask, don’t be offended by a refusal and be careful not to abuse the goodwill of dancers by making thoughtless or unrealistic requests.

There is a charming convention originating in Argentina but not widely practised elsewhere. This involves the man requesting a dance from a distance by using eye contact and smiling, possibly with a subtle nod towards the dance floor. The woman answers "yes" by smiling back

and standing up to join him. If she avoids eye contact altogether the answer is clear, thus saving the embarrassment of the man being openly refused, or the woman feeling pressurised to accept. This face saving formula has its merits. More normal in the UK is to walk up and ask "Would you like to dance?" Traditionally it was the men who asked, nowadays it is increasingly normal for ladies to ask as well.

Wait to ask until your potential partner has come off the floor – it would be very rude to ask someone who is already with another partner (perhaps they are just waiting for the music to start). And try to avoid the temptation to pounce on your favourite partner within seconds of them leaving the floor after several dances. Even the most enthusiastic dancers need time to recover.

Refusing an Invitation to Dance

You have the right to refuse to dance with anyone, at any time. The best way is to say "No, thank you", with a smile. However, if you are hoping to dance with this partner at some other time, be sure to say so. Sometimes people soften the refusal with a courteous excuse such as they are resting or would rather not dance to this music. If you do this, make sure you keep your word. The person who says “No, sorry, I’m tired” then accepts another invitation to dance whilst the same track is still playing probably won’t get asked again.

How Many Dances with a Partner?

At a Milonga we often dance a “Tanda” of three, sometimes four dances with the same partner, but this is by no means obligatory. If you are uncomfortable with your partner's dancing or other behaviour then it's OK to stop sooner. It may even be appropriate to leave the floor after one song, or even in the middle of a song in exceptional circumstances. (Note: not every Milonga splits the music into Tandas & Cortinas – see Tango Terms). At Prácticas it may be better to have only one or two dances with one person, in order to get as much practice in leading/following as possible.

The Tango Embrace, Leading & Following

The Embrace is one of the most defining features of Tango, and fundamental to dancing it well. But apart from looking good it is also the key to the unique connection experienced between the Partners in order to lead and follow. The best communication is through the chest and the frame – not by pushing and pulling with the arms and hands. The most responsive way to communicate is by feel, by direct contact. However, where the steps being danced require a bit more space, the communication will need to be more visual, with the Follower observing the Leader’s chest and shoulders closely. At its best, therefore, the embrace is dynamic, flowing smoothly between a closer and a more open connection, according to the moves being danced.

So the ability to use a dynamic embrace and to know how to invite one’s partner to move in and out elegantly and respectfully is a key Tango skill – more important in our view than learning any particular step or move!

Some other points to consider

If you wear glasses, consider contact lenses or removing your glasses while dancing unless you really can't see where you're going. Getting poked in the face by your partner’s frames as they turn their head is not pleasant.

Avoid wearing belts with large buckles or brooches with sharp edges as they can damage your partner's clothing.

Finally, Tango is an elegant dance and at many venues the dress code is a touch more formal than for other dance forms like Salsa and Jive. Usually the Ladies make such an effort to look good that this point is more for the men. If a jacket is too hot for you, think about a smart shirt or a good quality polo shirt or smart black T shirt. Some opt for waistcoats for a smart, retro look. Singlet type vests (and the accompanying sweaty armpits) are really not appropriate for Tango. Neither, in our view, are shorts – even when it’s hot. In Argentina, despite the hot climate and non existent air conditioning at many venues, the men often wear suits for Milongas, and in our view, the result is worth the effort.

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Photography: Richard & Sally D'Arcy